August 26th, 2004

sillyhats

(no subject)

Truth in advertising...rare these days.

I think Match.com should practice this effort. How? Easy, change the emails they send out.

I put up an advert on Match.com when I lived in Texas and the ex-wife was still wasting our valuable oxygen. Nothin fancy, just answered their questions, threw up (an appropriate term if I say so myself) my picture and browsed. Little did I know I was going to be receiving emails from them with the regularity of a Metamucil test group with my 'matches'. There was one problem. They weren't matches at all.

Here would be a more appropriate email from Match.com:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Match.com by Mail" <yourmatches@foryou.match.com> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book
To: bigfuckingloser@jonesnco.com
Subject: Your new list of women who our service has determined share no interests at all with you
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 13:58:27 GMT

bigfuckingloser, here are your 20 new matches.


Your New Mutual Matches...
-------------------------------------------------------------------

This, of course, will be followed by 12 or so lucky women who have been carefully selected, based on my charming and alluring profile, to have almost nothing in common with me.

I am totally befuddled how I end up getting an email listing every woman in the damned service with the following profile: they smoke and want to meet a smoker, they worship college sports, they have kids and want to only meet men without kids (hypocrisy? you're soaking in it), they are 5' 2" to 5' 6" and want to meet a man over 6' tall, they are both strongly Christian and strongly conservative in their political beliefs, and...the kicker, they list 'body piercing' and 'tattoos' and a turn-on and 'long hair' as a turn-off. I match nothing in their profile and they match nothing in mine.

I suspect this is done on purpose since I am not (nor will be) a paying customer or Match.com has been secretly taken over by eharmony.com who is trying to use the Match.com cover to push unsuspecting losers to use the eharmony.com test maching people on '29 different dimensions'. Heh, thanks but three dimensions is enough for me...even without the glasses. Besides, that guy on their commercials creeps me out. He is like the demonic Dr. Atkins of lonely losers.
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