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August 3rd, 2003 - You're watching the Family Learning Channel — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Dan Jones

[ website | Carpe Guttur ]
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August 3rd, 2003

(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2003|03:29 am]
Dan Jones
[mood |damned]

Sitting in IHOP, I ran over the few things lately that have scored me extra points to land in hell (the new Corpadverticus level as described here). Think of it as a semi-religious experience while I was pining over Amber</a>.

1) While a co-worker was helping me force-feed a dollar into a vending machine at work (which failed despite the efforts of both of us), he exclaimed, "Motherfucker". I responded, "I didn't know you were Catholic". Definite hell points.

2) When Fark.com listed a recent story about a British marine biologist being killed by a leopard seal (Link from MSNBC), one of the Fark.com comments linked a picture of the woman. I saw it and thought, "I'd hit it" in traditional fark.com fashion. Aside of being sexist, it was likely even more crass than Fark.com would have allowed on the comments. I didn't post it for fear of being banned but I did think it. Definite double hell points.

3) I made a joke about Liberian President Charles Taylor's Elite Troops being called the 'Chuck Taylor All-Stars'. Hell points. Sierra Leone jokes would have counted for double points. Waiting for a cease-and-desist letter from Converse.

4) Had a plethora of impure thoughts about teenage Canadian females. (yeah, had to include that for Sara).

5) Laughed at this picture. More points than I can imaging there.

I think I am beyond any salvation. No number of Hail Marys or Papal dispensations will save me now. As a result, I think I will submit a request for a management position on the tenth level. Maybe I will get lucky and be able to torture the likes of Phyllis Schlafly and Rush Limbaugh for eternity.
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2003|07:23 pm]
Dan Jones
[mood |boredbored]

Sometime toward the end of July was my two year anniversary at my job. Think anyone noticed?
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