||[Aug. 3rd, 2003|03:29 am]
Sitting in IHOP, I ran over the few things lately that have scored me extra points to land in hell (the new Corpadverticus level as described here). Think of it as a semi-religious experience while I was pining over Amber</a>.
1) While a co-worker was helping me force-feed a dollar into a vending machine at work (which failed despite the efforts of both of us), he exclaimed, "Motherfucker". I responded, "I didn't know you were Catholic". Definite hell points.
2) When Fark.com listed a recent story about a British marine biologist being killed by a leopard seal (Link from MSNBC), one of the Fark.com comments linked a picture of the woman. I saw it and thought, "I'd hit it" in traditional fark.com fashion. Aside of being sexist, it was likely even more crass than Fark.com would have allowed on the comments. I didn't post it for fear of being banned but I did think it. Definite double hell points.
3) I made a joke about Liberian President Charles Taylor's Elite Troops being called the 'Chuck Taylor All-Stars'. Hell points. Sierra Leone jokes would have counted for double points. Waiting for a cease-and-desist letter from Converse.
4) Had a plethora of impure thoughts about teenage Canadian females. (yeah, had to include that for Sara).
5) Laughed at this picture. More points than I can imaging there.
I think I am beyond any salvation. No number of Hail Marys or Papal dispensations will save me now. As a result, I think I will submit a request for a management position on the tenth level. Maybe I will get lucky and be able to torture the likes of Phyllis Schlafly and Rush Limbaugh for eternity.