||[Sep. 27th, 2002|01:00 am]
This was an old journal entry. I liked it then and I like it now. I hope you don't.
February 15, 2001 – Heh, call it an ego-threat or angst-inducing catharsis but I decided to update. It has been a bit TOO long since I did (over a month). What has changed? A lot and a little. First, work is getting a bit, uh, insecure. Maybe it is my cynical view of life but I am feeling the waters in the market of employment. This is assisted by a very nice offer (which I refused) from Oklahoma City for more than I make now. I won’t go into details but anyone who knows me knows I have reasons why I do NOT want to live there – much less visit. Another reason was a recent brain drain at work. We lost some good people and it hurt the company – possibly beyond near-term repair. Oh well, no more work-related stuff…
I have been in a ranting mood so here goes the rant o’ the day. [Duckman mode ON]
I have been toying around with some dating web sites. This goes back to the time I emailed the radio station here and it was suggested I might be on a morning-show dating contest (which I wasn’t). I read there is now a majority on the Internet – a majority of women online, that is. And, of course, they will flock like the men do to the Internet dating sites. What gets me is that I read posts by women saying how insipid men are – they won’t talk to women with kids, they expect a super-model, they want sex (only), they are rude, they lie, blah blah blah. OK. Fine. I think there is some truth to the ranting but, in fairness, I see just as much crap coming from women. Look. If you are looking online, you probably aren’t going to find an ‘athletic’ guy. The athletic guy is in the gym or the nightclub kissing his bicep to impress you. If you fall for someone whose personality can be reduced to one word (vanity), expect to be shat (oh, the Queen’s English) on. Also, expect NO ONE will have sympathy for you. Same with the ‘good communication’ guy. Yeah, he is so good, he is typing at you. If you want someone who will carry on a conversation, online is probably not the place you will get a deep conversation – unless computers are your interest. Then again, if you were any good at communicating…
There are a lot of women out there who will judge men because men have kids. Simply put, don’t shit where you eat. If you want to be treated with some semblance of respect and courtesy, show some yourself. If you are not looking for someone, turn off your ad. Most sites have this feature. Courtesy gets dates…one site I visited said this. Courtesy like…oh, responding to email. Hey, babe…it’s a two way street. And, most women are not going to respond to a highly negative letter. Maybe if women stop with their negative responses, they might find a better pool of men to choose from. Women with three kids and a pending divorce are VERY unlikely to find the Brad Pitt look-alike with blond hair who is 6”1’. But, guess what, you might find a guy out there who has gone through the same crap and could be, at least, a good source of moral support (except you are eliminating him from contention). But you don’t. Why? Because HE has kids. And then, in a week, or a month, or a year when you feel the pain of your impending lack of companionship nibbling at the edges of your ego or the relationship with the emotionally and possibly physically abusive partner causes you to fill up with about one-quarter of the hate I have in me…maybe you will start to realize YOU are the cause of the loneliness you despise. And I will be the first to tell you to shut the hell up. I don’t want to feel your pain…I will want to cause it.
Now, this all sounds quite negative. And it is. I am negative. Why? I think I earned a right to be so in life. Screw you if you don’t like it. Dan’s world is a dark world. But I am digressing. The point here is the whole process is demoralizing and hurtful. And, to make matters worth, it is that way not because of some horrible evolution of emotional processes. It is so because someone (read: women) makes it so. Idea: spend a night watching TLC with Desmond Morris and see just what crap you are doing that is just stupid and what you don’t so that might be smart.
Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day celebrates the burning of an individual at the stake. Some traditions should never have changed.
Somehow, I feel better after that.